I was on a Game Show. . .

When I was but a wee lad, I had the dream to be famous. . .
For a long time, I didn't think it would happen. . .Then,
for just a moment, in June of 2000, it happened. I emailed
the folks at Futility.com and
began the process of getting accepted.

After a rigorous phone interview, where I answered questions like "What is the monetary
unit of Malaysia?" (Answer: The Ringgit), they accepted me for an in-person try-out.
Along with about 50 other lads and lasses, I took a written exam. We had twenty
minutes to answer a 30 question test. Questions included: "What is the other
name for the Mona Lisa?" (Answer: La Jaconde Or La Gioconda)

Those of use who successfully navigated the exam, then played a mock game. We lined up
on a facsimile of the set, and competed. I was very pleased with my performance.
Soon thereafter, I received a call, and went in for the taping.

Note: If you have a fast connection, you can view the entire show. The files are 30-40mb large. These require the Quicktime Viewer. If you need it, click here to download it. Then, click the following links to view: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

For those desiring the Play-by-play, Here is the beginning of the show:

It was a trip being on stage with these folks. This was back
in the Jimmy Kimmel days. Definately a good time to be there.

Most of the shows consist of two men and a woman. As you can see,
I was butch enough for two. I was placed with Alix, a young nymphette
with a smile that could melt an iceberg, and Kate. What can I say about
Kate, except, well, she could crush me with a look.

Ok, let's get the jokes out of the way. . .
"Kent, you look like Grizzly Adams"
"Kent, you have the poofy hair of a bad Speed Metal act"
"Kent, is that a pole up your arse, or are you just that uncomfy?"
"Kent, how many Tylenol PM's DID you take before the show?"
I mean, shite. . . I never said I had good fashion sense!
For better visages of me, click Here.

I was so nervous for the beginning of the game, that I was just
answering a slew of questions. I think I only missed like 2
questions, and had all the money at the first commercial break.

As the second round began, I was quite happy to have double the
money of the evil woman, Kate. Ben started off strong, getting
a bunch of questions correct. As the round went on, Kate tied my
score a few times.

At the end of the game, however, I was truly victorious. By a score
of US$1100 to US$800, the evil Kate was vanquished. I was a happy
camper. And so, it was on to the final round. . .Mono y Mono. Ben
and myself, in a test of wits.

I had the chance to win US$5,000. I was excited. I figured, shite,
what do I have to lose? And so, I chose to go second. To have Ben
blaze the trail in front of me, and determine my fate based on his
answers.

After imbibing a slew of liquids, Ben set off to answer the questions.
He struggled a bit through questions about Oysters and the US Govt.
fiscal policy. He ended with a score of 4 out of 10. A very lackluster
effort, but the questions were difficult.

And so my turn was to be had. . . I began strong, getting the first question
correct. . . Then I got the last question correct. . . Not a stellar showing
by any account. So, I shook my head, and took defeat well.

A hearty handshake, and an admonishing by Ben, my time in the sun
was over. Many months later, my show aired. It was great to see
myself on TV, even if I was a bit goofy-looking. Stay tuned. I will
go on another game show. Perhaps I too, will win, a million dollars.